Lame puns, bad jokes... leave the ones you know!

Alright I'll get the ball rolling.

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?

Spoiler:

and the classic:

A man walks into a bar... ouch!

I might post some more later, for now I want to see what you've got.

I'm lame puns only work in real life when I can point or hold things I'm making puns off of xD

Nirvanna wrote:

I'm lame puns only work in real life when I can point or hold things I'm making puns off of xD

I have some friends which we start making puns a la 007 out of the most trivial things.
For example:
- Hey guys I need a pencil.
- This guy is sharp.
- Duly noted.

-laughs- thats kinda cute ^

Two blonds walk into a college... And then they woke up :P

Take a picture it will last longer

Okay before I do something horrible here, I'm going to make this suggestion... No dead baby jokes, no cruely racist jokes, and no funeral jokes... Anything else is fair game...

preacher walks into the bar.. He asks for water and the bartender pours him a glass. He dumps the water onto the floor and says, "THIS BAR HAS NOW BEEN BLESSED! EVERYONE YOUR DRINKS ARE ON GOD" The bartender abruptly stopped him and says, "Thats no water... it's the death star"

I totally get the award for worst joke ever, right?

Tch, ruined the fun before it began Kalo xD

-pats- I kinda like it so no reward for you Kalo ~

So evil.... Such is life... I'd tell you a really funny joke, but it's completely inappropriate for public posting XD

O do send that in a private message :3
As a side note I couldn't help but think of that darn dog meme when you said so evil cause I read it as "Such evil" and well I'll assume you know where I'm going with this so I'll stop here.  As another side note to that the most creative version of that meme is when they photo combined that dogs face onto that one musician Snoop Dog or whatever bloody profession that guy belongs too.

lol Wow XD

Some of Tim Vine's top jokes.

• Exit signs? They're on the way out!
  
• Black Beauty? Now there's a dark horse!
  
• Velcro? What a rip-off!
  
• Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
  
• Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you?
  
• I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
  
• I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
  
• So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
  
• I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
  

Got'em from here.